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Quite a few individuals grew up with abuse and violence, so if this is you, then you know firsthand how traumatic and frightening this can be. We can tell you that it takes a lot of care and understanding of the entire situation in order to bring it to resolution. Absolutely no judgement, just empathy. If you are currently experiencing this, don’t hesitate to reach out to My Caring Counselor to learn more about our services and discuss how can work together to improve your situation.
Abuse does occur more regularly than most people realize. Whether its husband on wife, or wife on husband and very few will tell anyone – not a friend, a neighbor, or the police.
Victims of domestic violence are not isolated to one group of people, it comes from all walks-of-life, all cultures, all income groups, all religions and all ages. They share common feelings of helplessness, guilt, isolation, fear and shame. All hope it never happens again, but frequently, it does. Are you abused?
Abuse is defined by the following:
Domestic violence usually follows a three-step circular pattern. As part of the first step, tension rises until the abuse loses self-control. The second step is frequently accompanied by feelings of rationalization by the abuser and minimization of consequences of the abuse. In the final and third step, the abuser feels remorse. They do not feel the tension that they had before and are typically sorry for their actions. Quite frequently, they will ask for forgiveness, make promises to never do it again, and behave very lovingly toward the victim.
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Crofton, Chemainus, Duncan, Ladysmith, Mill Bay, BC, British Columbia, counselling, relationships, anger, conflict, trauma, abuse, Dr., Doctor, addiction, dysfunction, stress, domestic, family, mediation, conflict, anxiety, depression, bereavement, child, conflicts, marriage, parenting
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Worthy of mentioning, during the third stage, the abuser often appears to be in true repentance, it is only the result of the abuser’s absence of tension and their feelings that the victim has “learned their lesson.” Once those feelings vanish and tension increases again, the battering is likely to reoccur.
Sadly, its common for both abusers and victims of domestic violence to have grown up in an abuse home.
You’ll find that very early on in a couples dating relationship, most of the predictors of domestic violence are present. These predictors can include use of violence or force to resolve problems, rigid ideas regarding the roles of men and women in a relationship, an abuser’s need to prove himself by acting macho and fears of a potential abuser’s anger.
Abusers are personable and charming when in public, but behave differently behind closed doors. They may appear reasonable by trying to influence others of their wives’ irrational and rebellious behavior, and trying to get others to see their side.
Negative consequences of domestic violence include higher rates of all health problems such as, chornic pain, gastrointestinal disorders and more. It can result in unwanted pregnancy, gynecological disorders, amd premature labor.
Victims of abuse have more heart and circulatory problems, and sexually transmitted disease, As for the psychologically abused, they suffer from depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, substance abuse, antisocial or suicidal behavior, and other adverse conditions. Consequences of social abuse include limited access to public life and health services, little emotional support from friends and family. Kids who witness abuse can develop psychiatric disorders, low self-esteem, violent behaviors, development disorders, and academic difficulties.
There are several factors related to domestic violence. Among the many include poor family functioning, male dominance in the family, marital conflict, prior injury from the same partner, a history of physical abuse, having a verbally abusive partner, partner history of drug or alcohol abuse, economic stress, being under the age of 24, and a history of childhood abuse.
